Dealing with setbacks

In the course of my hair journey, I have had no less than 5 setbacks. Ranging from bad relaxers to heat damage to bad products. Unfortunately, experiencing setbacks while on a healthy hair journey is very common. It is in fact the norm because a healthy hair journey is a learning process where a bit of trial and error is often required. Sometimes you learn from other people's mistakes and sometimes you have to experience it yourself to realize the lesson. When you have a setback, the important thing is to learn from it. What caused it? Was it a bad relaxer? A product that you used? Something you did or something you failed to do? Once you have figured out what caused it, determine how to prevent it from happening again. Then decide on how to address the current situation.


Several years ago, I had my roots relaxed by a random hair dresser in Lagos. When she was combing the relaxer through my new growth, she kept pulling so hard on my hair with her fine toothed rattail comb, I am convinced that she obliterated some of my hair follicles. Anyway, the result was a massive headache and enormous damage to the back of my head. I didn't want to cut all my hair off so I grew it out for several months before trimming it.

Damage 

First trim

Second trim

Needless to say, that was the last time I ever went to that hair dresser. Other causes of setbacks for me include heat damage from weekly flat ironing, knotting from washing tangled hair and thinning from overlapping relaxers. 

While we are doing everything we can to avoid a setback, if you do find yourself in a situation where you have sustained damage to your hair, I suggest you take the following steps:

- Remain calm, try not to be frustrated, anxious or overly emotional

- If you are emotional, leave your hair alone. Wear a scarf, a wig, hold your hair up in a bun and take a break. Go to the movies, cook something, read a book... anything to keep you from having to deal with your hair.

- When you feel less agitated, inspect your hair to assess the damage

- Do not reach for the scissors! 

- Put your hair in a protective style for a week or two to give your hair time to recover  before making a decision on trimming. This is because sometimes your hair will recover on it's own and the trim may not be necessary or may still be necessary but not in the magnitude you thought.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that no one suffers a setback but if you do let us know your experience in the comments below so we don't suffer the same fate!

Peace, love and light!

B